In Bere's article "Kindling the Fire: 3 Best-Kept Secrets to Staying in Love," she described the practice of Gazing as a way to deeply connect with one's partner. Here are a few more information on Gazing to get you started.
In our everyday usage, "gazing" generally means to look at something or someone for a long time.
In a gazing meditation, "gazing" means looking another person into the eye for long enough to deeply connect with them. You can do this for as little as a few seconds, or for close to an hour or more. Doing it for a few minutes may be best.
Gazing is not a staring contest but a way to connect with another person without words. It's absolutely ok to blink.
Want to try it out?
If you want to try out gazing from the comfort of your own home, below you will find a gazing video from our good friend Chris (awakenedliving.com.au).
All you need to do is sit back, focus on one of his eyes and relax into the experience.
(It's totally ok and normal to feel awkward when first trying this out!)
See what comes up for you.
Sit across from each other, in a chair, on the floor or on a cushion. Make sure you are both in a comfortable position and then start making eye contact, focusing on one eye. If you want, you can set a timer for a few minutes. You can also begin with a shorter period until you (and/or your gazing partner) feel more comfortable with the practice.
When gazing, you might notice many different feelings coming up for you or you may feel nothing. Whatever you feel, it's fine. There is no "right way" to gaze. It might also look like the face of your gazing partner is shifting which is a normal experience in this meditation.
If you feel uncomfortable making direct eye contact, you can focus on an area directly above the eyes of your gazing partner.
Over time, gazing will become much easier and it won't feel awkward anymore. This practice of connecting deeply with another person can melt barriers and blockages.
When we gaze with our romantic partner, it can remind us of what feels so special about the person we have chosen to be with and how much we care about them.